Captain’s Log: Day 15 Days To Go: Here We Go Again But This Time There’s Show!

Uhem, so we had some ‘show’ last night just before bed. I instantly went into a cold sweat. Naturally when you read up about it, it does not 100% mean anything will happen straight away, but most of the info on it seems to suggest that giving birth may happen soon after. A cold sweat… why? Its a bit like not looking forward to flying and booking a trip a few months ahead of schedule. You know it’s coming, you know you’re not a keen flyer but you know you need to get on with life. But when you’re actually there, handing in your ticket and boarding the plane, you suddenly get that amazing clarity that its all happening, right now. I calmed down and spent the 1st hour in bed trying to analyse all the different sensations my body was going through. Was that back ache the start of my contractions? Multiple Braxton Hicks… how far apart were they? That sick feeling, was I just hunger? The ‘period pain’ like feeling around where my womb used to reside, is this just my ovaries getting ready to jump start again post birth? But I’m hoping the show is a step in the right direction, I say ‘hoping’ knowing what a conflict of interest that creates. I appreciate I have 2 weeks left til due date and after that there may still be a further 2 weeks. Mentally I’m setting myself up for 4 weeks, but you can’t help but wonder if when I’m listening to my body, that its not sending secret messages to my brain and body. That when I do eventually pop, with hindsight I won’t think… ‘crickey – how did I miss that hint?!’. I eventually fell asleep, but then awoke at 01.40, overheated, either having just experienced or dreamt of having contractions. How weird is that!?

So with a few false labours under my belt – which i’m proud of I must add, I am guessing this is my body’s way of ramping up for the big day, I have to admit I think I’m ready. As ready as I can be I think. These are big bold words for someone who has not given birth yet to anything. However, I think getting a snap shot of how some of the pain may feel is helping me to mentally manage how I can hope to cope at least with the 1st stage of labour… before the good old transition phase steps in and tries to derail me. Of course there are no guarantees and it may feel completely different when it comes down to it on the day, but it seems to be reassuring me rather than scaring me further. Will keep you posted.

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