Day 24: The never ending feed

Friday we had a long journey up. I forgot my breastfeeding pillow. Who would have known it would be such a vital piece of equipment. I just could not get comfortable to feed and as it’s still painful it seemed to compound the issue. After a very awake Friday, she continued this trend by having a very awake Friday night. Early start on Saturday morning and then continued to be awake most of the rest of the day. It’s weird because you do start questioning: a) will they ever fall asleep again? b) is it possible they will keep you awake for the rest of eternity? Even now I’ve fed her, put her down in our room and run away to write this blog because a) I don’t want to ‘jinx’ her waking up because I’m in the room and b) I haven’t had time to update this is 2 days. Even now i hear her making some subtle crying noises and… yes, I think that is the noise of her chomping on her hand even though she fell asleep on the breast twice in the last 30 mins. This really is exhausting.

Yesterday/Saturday was lovely. The wedding was great, the venue was good and the couple were wonderful. Unfortunately due to her chosing to be up most of the night I could barely keep my eyes open. I had the fear. The fear of a mother with a new born, knowing that we had about a 4 hour journey to get back home and that she was probably going to be up through the night again. The fear that if we didn’t leave at a reasonable hour our 4 hour journey would take eve longer and my evening cluster feeding would end up being midnight til 3am cluster feeding. I chickened out and we went home at 6pm… well that was the theory. The reality was we said goodbye and left at 6pm and then I sat in the car park til 7 pm breastfeeding.

Liz, hope you had a wonderful wedding and sorry for bailing. So happy we could attend at least the important bit and hang out with you a bit at the reception before we ran away. In the end it took 2 hours to get back (uhem) and my back was thankful for the breastfeeding pillow again.

Today we washed her and her hair, properly with soap + water. I experienced the sadness of having expressed milk yesterday and needing to throw it away (because we travelled back with it from the wedding and it was not chilled properly). We also weighed her, she’s gained a lovely 180g since Wednesday so a new weight of 3.9kg. Boom! Other than that we mainly did nothing. In part this is because there was so much to do in the house… the small stuff you just can’t do when it’s just you and baby in the house. The other part is due to the fact that she has fed for 5 hours today… and I hear her calling for more now. Just another 30min feed? I hear this changes at some point… just not sure when. Til tomorrow!

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