Day 114: Abandonment

General abandonment.

The baby has been in your womb for 9 months. It then get’s evicted. You then don’t get to hold baby 24/7… but God knows you try. Baby sleeps on their own and then on top of all this you start to bugger off. I am sure the baby feels completely abandonned. But as I am reminded, every time I put her to bed crying and she wakes up smiling at me – babies have a short memory, they adapt to life. Eventually I hear they do grow up and when they’re 30 they might even move out!

No wonder mother’s feel guilty when they leave. I shouldn’t even call it leaving. It’s generally getting on with life. I know hubby feels really bad when he leaves Lo-Lo to go to work but I think a mother’s guilt is bigger. Here they are nourishing baby from egg to baby on a daily basis. Suddenly you feel selfish for wanting to do something else even if it’s something unselfish like work to help provide for them. You get a real sense that spending time with your littlun is important to them, as much as hugging them.

That being said the few times that I have left her I have not felt too bad or guilty, which really surprises me. Possibly this is because I don’t do it often? Possibly because often it’s daddy/grandparents looking after her. Possibly because I try to feed her as much as possible so she’s not having to rely on formula. Not sure. But I am thankful I can have time off and not feel too bad about it. Have a funny feeling this will change once I get back to work.

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