7 weeks to go: when do you think ‘this is what I was hoping to achieve”

I’m not negative, I am a realist. truth is the more you speak with the average parent the more you discover it’s all hard work. I have 7 weeks til d-day and only 3 weeks til Lolo turns 2. I’ve always said she was a handful. constantly into everything, a genius yet no off button. but it’s a challenge from the start. in the womb in your first tri you feel permanently sick, your third tri you have no room to breathe and it all starts becoming heavy. then there’s birth. they start life crying, then there’s every developmental stage on the way. potty training, language and boundaries are some of the things we’re going through at the moment. and as their language improves of course so does the many ways they can use it for or against you. then there’ll be a new sibling taking up mummy’s and daddy’s time. then school, the boy’s etc. there’s at least 20 years ahead of us of trying to manage them. my question to a fellow mother with a young teenager was, realistically when do you have that aha moment. when do you get to look at it all, the child, the family and say ‘yes! this is what I was looking for! this is what I’d always hoped it would be!’ do you ever? life’s a journey, got it but is the best bit when they move out? do you have to wait that long? and if the purpose of it all is to see them go then what was the real reason for having them in the first place? I liked the idea of having kids and a family, but why? what is it that’s so appealing?

of course even with all these thoughts the odd thing is I really wouldn’t change it for the world. It’s like most difficult things, they often make you a better person, they give you perspective. but the truth is I’m not sure I had a family for my own self improvement. last night when she cuddled and nuzzled me with her nose whilst we were in bed i had an overwhelming sense of joy, yes, but you don’t know about those moments when you think of a family. so what compels us to procreate other than booze?

oh, this parenthood lark is all too confusing!

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