#2 is 4 weeks yesterday: the truth about good and evil (a.k.a. to drink or not to drink)

And I don’t mean like totally wasted but I do mean having a few and getting a little merry. And I don’t mean like all the time (well, maybe I do but I don’t actually do it! That’s the point! … no? Anyway…). Back track to pregnancy. I couldn’t WAIT to stop being pregnant and to get smashed. 9 months of sobriety?! It was killing me. With Lolo I had no taste for it, even the smell of wine turned my stomach. But not with AJ. Oh no, craving red meat, wine and all things bad for me. So by the time I was 9 months gone I had a bottle of Bollinger Rose and a magnum of good red wine bought and shelved, just waiting for me to pop and be ready to celebrate. But it all bloomin’ changes doesn’t it!

Once you have a baby there’s this constant exhaustion. You can’t think of anything worse than drinking and being in charge of a super mini person. I can’t handle the crying at the best of times let alone when a bit tipsy… let alone the morning after, or in the MIDDLE of the might when you have to get up, feed them and HOPE they go back to sleep afterwards and do not choose tonight to have a marathon cry off. You feel like you’re staring down the barrel of a gun. You’re scared. Fate is not in your hands. This kid can make or break you and you best have your wits about you. And with a drink in you, your mind goes wondering – what if they never stop crying? What if your ears start bleeding? You’ll have to hold them all night long. And if one position doesn’t work then maybe another will. You have to be quick on your feet. Nimble. Able to adapt to any curveball the little monkey slaps you in the face with at 3am.

And this is why drinking with a teeny tiny baby is a bad idea. It has NOTHING to do with passing on the alcohol. It’s all self preservation. Drs can’t officially condone it – but if you speak with one in confidence they’ll tell you that you’d have to be super hammered for it to get through to the milk/baby. Not that that makes getting bladdered ok – there are other reasons as explained above as to why you don’t want to do it. Hubby and I did it in week 2 and, well, it wasn’t pleasant. Neither was the irritability. ‘So don’t do it!’

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