You may have read yesterday’s post. My last day of mat leave was a sad affair. But as if to prove a point that I was making a mistake going back to work – the kids were fantastic! AJ woke at 6.40am which is unusually late for him. Lolo got up as soon as the sun was up on her grow clock. Hubby hung around for a little bit to help with the kids and I had a shower and got the porridge on. Both kids ate perfectly. AJ all but inhaled his porridge and then fed himself some yogurt and some pomegranates. Even Lolo ate well, eating her porridge and then pomegranates, in a timely fashion so my blood pressure didn’t go through the roof. Then they played perfectly together for 30 mins! No intervention from mummy was needed until Lolo pushed AJ over. He went well for his nap and I got to cook and get the washing on.
The late morning involved food shopping and lunch. Again, no dramas at lunch! More playing well! I even took a cheeky nap with my daughter. Lovely, yummy, scrummy time as.
In the afternoon Lolo and I went to Bluewater to pick up another pair of jelly shoes for her and some other bargains on the way. Daddy stayed at home with the little man so I could have some Lolo time. I suddenly realized this was the first decent chunk of time I’d spent with her… since Austin was born! It was a welcome treat.
Happy days. I do feel bad about going back to work but mainly because I’d like to spend more time with them. Realistically who can afford not to work and have 2 kids in childcare?! But I guess that’s the point, they’d be at home with me and not at the childminders, which in turn would drive me stir crazy. I wish there was a middle ground, but with my job, there really isn’t and I just need to make my peace with it. The truth is there have been times during my mat-leave where I have felt claustrophobic, unable to do anything, angry at the kids, impatient, annoyed with all the crying. Either with 1 monkey or 2 monkeys – clung to me, no break. And you get a bit like that with your thinking too – unable to think past their immediate needs and demands. So in that respect I’m looking forward to working – I just wish there was more of a middle ground.