Not masses to report but do you remember I was training her to eat cherries at Christmas? The idea was she got a whole one, chewed and then removed the pip herself? Well we’ve not been trying it w cherries of late but this week she did have a particularly pippy tangerine. Well, she surprised us all by… removing the pips. I know it’s a small thing. Much like the fact she pooped in the potty last night and peed in the potty this evening (as well as peed on the floor – that’s another story). But I do love the little signs, the leaps in intelligence.
This is the oddest thing but today I’m 27weeks gone out of 40. I’m now officially in my 3rd trimester and it’s like a switch has been flipped. Tired. Hungry. My lower back is starting to kill when I walk. My hips are all creeky, it takes me a while to warm up into normal walking. Need to pee all the time. Baby is starting to get heavy. And smells are turning my stomach. .. in fairness the guy who sat next to me on the dlr just had a really odd mouldy smell… might have nothing to do with me. I think I’ve forgotten what else to expect. Lol. On the countdown!
I’ve been thinking about writing this for years. Literally years. I’m sure I’ll wind-up offending someone, but I gotta write it – so here goes.
We as the human race can all endure challenges and life changing events. Yet child birth is only available to women, and it creates a different being at the end. Caterpillars and butterflies come to mind automatically. One little being that goes away and comes back as something else. Its such a visual change that it’s hugely noticeable. It’s more subtle in women although if you look hard enough you can also see it.
I feel I’ve changed since I’ve become a mother. I think I’ve grown- up. You have to don’t you? You go from selfish to self-less. I don’t mean it negatively, you just have no option. When you have no kids you have time, you do what you want or fancy, you think about your contentment and prioritise yourself with your life, why wouldn’t you? With a kid you have no option. They’re there 24-7, never really leaving you. Despite how great some fathers are, the responsibility more often than not is still with the women to cut down her hours, to change her job, to pick up from nursery, to make sure home life is functioning well etc. As my mother-in-law once said to me, once you’ve had a kid you’re never really alone again. And I’d have to agree with her. But the changes come far earlier than that.
As a mum / mum-to-be, you have to make the decision whether or not you want to start a family. Once the male has done his job, whether you wanted him to or not – you then have to decide on what happens next. For some it’s abortion, for others it’s labour. Woohoo – our options are grrrreat. If you go ahead you have to come to terms with the fact that your body and your life are about to change. I remember having a freak-out at 11 weeks when I was preggers w Lo-Lo. CHILDBIRTH! In this modern day and age – did I really have to go through something so pre-historic and frankly, degrading? The process itself is not degrading but everyone feeling they have the right to have a look, a poke, a prod, legs a kimbo, is. There’s nothing nice about it. It happens so often of course that everyone becomes blasé about it. Even we as women become quite removed from it – it’s only a day or so, once in a blue moon, right? Once in a life time… or not at all, not really worth deliberating over. Yet no one talks about the miscarriages or the still births or the pressure of being able to reproduce, the pain of birth, the physical changes, not being able to do start jumps again, the emotional struggles, the guilt. No. It’s just ‘all such a wonderful amazing thing’ (incorporate perma-grin). Women have been doing it for years – you should be grateful!
No – you be grateful.
Our NCT lady said quite rightly – ‘its called labour for a reason’. If it were anything else other ‘natural’ and the ‘order of things’ it would be classed as massive bodily trauma. Women die in labour. Think about it this way, we have a lot of c-sections in this country. We don’t think about it as it is just one of our options when we give birth. But have a think about what it really means. If these women couldn’t have c-sections, if they also couldn’t give birth vaginally – what would be the alternative? There wouldn’t be one. Every mother who’s had a c-section is, in my eyes a mum or baby we came close to losing. My point? Childbirth is a massive thing that we have become desensitized over. And it’s exactly for these reasons that I think all mums are heros. It is through this massive milestone in their life that they really become something else. They go through their own unspoken wars and come out the other side. For me, despite all of this we still chose to continue the human race – that’s the amazing part. This is the metamorphosis of women. Happy impending Mothers Day to all. x
Last week we started. We took the bold step of getting her to sleep in a normal bed. She has a cot in her room and a lovely day bed from Ikea. It spreads out into a double or you can keep it as a single and it has a foot high edge around 3 edges. So it’s perfect as she can’t fall out except for on one side. For that we got long triangle wedges that tuck under the bed sheet. Last weekend I laid w her for her afternoon nap and bedtime til she fell asleep. During the week we gave up as she wasn’t really feeling it and kept asking for the cot. We went again this afternoon where she fell asleep after 2mins of me laying w her. This evening however we went to her room and asked if she’d like to sleep in her bed and she said yes. Daddy settled her for all of one minute and said there was no resistance… we’ve not heard a peep since! I’m sure we’ve been lucky w this but you always worry how hard these transitions will be. And you might ask why we’re even bothering at under 2 y.o. Truth is we’d probably be lazy and leave her in til she was a lot older but w number 2 on the way I don’t want her to feel like she’s being kicked out of her cot because of another little person who will be more than invading her space in a few months. Bed practice to continue.
I’m probably going to get reported to social services but, in-line with encouraging Lo-Lo to be more self-sufficient I’ve been teaching her how to eat cherries. Over Christmas we had quite a few cherries round the house as I remember once 15 years ago my hubby telling me he liked them. SO at Christmas time I try to buy a few in as a treat. Of course Lo-Lo loves them. So we play the – ‘I eat the half with the pip, you eat the other half’ game. I figured it wouldn’t be a bad thing to start teaching her how to eat them whole and source the pips herself. I threw her in at the deep end and gave her a hole cherry with stalk. She figured out that the stem was not for the eating, but as expected the pip was a little more troublesome. So I showed her mummy eating a cherry, how I find the cherry and then take it out. 1st time: fail. So mummy demonstrated again. 2nd time: fail. 3rd time: she did it! She chewed gently, sourced the pip and eventually popped it out! So impressed. In my excitement I gave her her 4th cherry…
Fail. I’m not sure 3 pips in her tummy will kill her but at the same time I’d prefer her not to be filled with stones. And so the self-sufficiency experiment continues.